Hello, everyone!
As of today, I am moving the blog over to WordPress. While I love this blog, I'm doing most of my computing by phone these days, and blogger is not the easiest to use on a mobile device. I do hope you'll join me at my new spot: http://thiskinkylife.wordpress.com/
If you link to this site, please update your link :)
All of the posts from this site have been transferred over, so you're welcome to comment over there!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Spanking and the single girl
For many years (the ones I was with Jack), I didn't spend a great deal of time or energy on the kinky online community. I kept up on my favorite blogs, and once in a great while posted here, but for the most part I shared my inner spanko with only Jack. For me, that was easier. I put on an outgoing face, because it is expected, but deep down I am really very shy. Sharing all those innermost parts of myself with one person was difficult enough, sharing them with an entire group (even the safest sort, neatly tucked away behind computer screens somewhere far far away) was another thing entirely.
I don't think I realized, at first, that when I ended the relationship with Jack I wasn't only walking away from someone I truly loved, but from that safety net as well. I no longer had the luxury of hiding in my cozy little world and I determined to strike out and rebuild a bit of the community I had let slip away.
Mostly it has been a good experience. But I've learned some things along the way. I am not the same person I was five years ago. I am not a blank slate. I am not set in stone. There are many things I want or need, and many that I don't. I understand that I'll compromise on most of them; that two people together are not the whole of them apart - we shift and change, meld and blend, and are better for it, I think.
What I cannot, or perhaps will not, understand, are the people who expect me to be nothing but a reflection of their own needs and desires. Those who send demands for more information about me, but take no time to introduce themselves or tell me why we might get along. Those who are offended by my refusal to feel the least bit submissive to them although we have only just met. And most especially those who start by telling me how they need time to get to know someone, and then after sending three messages of about a sentence each, are suddenly surprised that I don't know them well enough to run off with them.
I am a woman, I enjoy spanking, I happen to be single. I am all of those things, but they are not all of me. I don't compartmentalize my spanko self, she is interwoven with every other part of me - the businesswoman, the friend, the citizen, etc - and that makes her both stronger and more vulnerable. I am as careful with her as with all the others, and I'd like to think others are too.
So I have to ask, as I browse through my FetLife messages, has it always been like this? Did I just not notice before? Can't we all just agree to be polite and respectful and to take the time to get to know each other? When did we all become so impatient that we have lost touch with the journey and focus only on the destination? Perhaps we'll find that we don't agree on the important things, perhaps we won't get along. I still can't consider any time I've spent getting to know someone a waste, because invariably I also get to know something new about myself.
And yet, I understand the rush, the need to find someone who can fill this void that has been growing larger. I can see how finding balance can be difficult. And I wonder if what I perceive as pushy and impatient isn't something else, something more elusive and harder to define. Maybe it is, but I still think there's a place for politeness and common courtesy. If you don't, please find somewhere else to hang your hat and another woman to message.
I don't think I realized, at first, that when I ended the relationship with Jack I wasn't only walking away from someone I truly loved, but from that safety net as well. I no longer had the luxury of hiding in my cozy little world and I determined to strike out and rebuild a bit of the community I had let slip away.
Mostly it has been a good experience. But I've learned some things along the way. I am not the same person I was five years ago. I am not a blank slate. I am not set in stone. There are many things I want or need, and many that I don't. I understand that I'll compromise on most of them; that two people together are not the whole of them apart - we shift and change, meld and blend, and are better for it, I think.
What I cannot, or perhaps will not, understand, are the people who expect me to be nothing but a reflection of their own needs and desires. Those who send demands for more information about me, but take no time to introduce themselves or tell me why we might get along. Those who are offended by my refusal to feel the least bit submissive to them although we have only just met. And most especially those who start by telling me how they need time to get to know someone, and then after sending three messages of about a sentence each, are suddenly surprised that I don't know them well enough to run off with them.
I am a woman, I enjoy spanking, I happen to be single. I am all of those things, but they are not all of me. I don't compartmentalize my spanko self, she is interwoven with every other part of me - the businesswoman, the friend, the citizen, etc - and that makes her both stronger and more vulnerable. I am as careful with her as with all the others, and I'd like to think others are too.
So I have to ask, as I browse through my FetLife messages, has it always been like this? Did I just not notice before? Can't we all just agree to be polite and respectful and to take the time to get to know each other? When did we all become so impatient that we have lost touch with the journey and focus only on the destination? Perhaps we'll find that we don't agree on the important things, perhaps we won't get along. I still can't consider any time I've spent getting to know someone a waste, because invariably I also get to know something new about myself.
And yet, I understand the rush, the need to find someone who can fill this void that has been growing larger. I can see how finding balance can be difficult. And I wonder if what I perceive as pushy and impatient isn't something else, something more elusive and harder to define. Maybe it is, but I still think there's a place for politeness and common courtesy. If you don't, please find somewhere else to hang your hat and another woman to message.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Love Our Lurkers Day!
Happy Love Our Lurkers Day everyone!
Don't know what I'm talking about? Each year, Bonnie over at My Bottom Smarts organizes a wonderful event for spanking bloggers everywhere. On this day each year we ask YOU, the people who silently read (and hopefully enjoy) our blogs, to say hi.
I do hope you'll post a comment today to say hello - I'd love to know who you are (You can post anonymously too, if you feel more comfortable that way)!
Monday, October 18, 2010
LOL Monday
Happy Monday everyone! I love this week's LOL, although it doesn't specifically deal with spanking. Obviously, throwing a girl in a washing machine would be a bit extreme, but I'm curious to know how many (if any) of you include mouthsoaping in your kinky play.
Around here it's wise to avoid such activities, as I have a rather severe reaction to such things which most Tops don't enjoy :)
Around here it's wise to avoid such activities, as I have a rather severe reaction to such things which most Tops don't enjoy :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The conclusion to the spanking meme you thought would never end :)
And here it is - the last nine questions in the ultimate spanking meme:
41. Would you rather be humiliated or respected during your spanking? While I don't mind a little embarrassment, humiliation is a big no. There should always be mutual respect within consensual spanking.
42. Would you rather spanking become part of a bigger BDSM alternative lifestyle or spanking just be spanking for spanking sake? When I first discovered kink I had more interest in BDSM, but those interests now lean much more heavily to spanking. I do enjoy a little extra on the side from time to time, though.
43. Would you rather be filmed during a spanking to share your exhibitionist naughtiness or are you too modest to show your bum to the world? While my decision isn't necessarily predicated on modesty, I'd opt not to be photographed or filmed. I have no problem sharing my kink with like-minded people, or even open minded vanilla friends, but that doesn't mean I want videos of myself indulging in spanking out there where anyone could find it. There are certain people (my parents come to mind) who are better off in blissful ignorance and I intend to keep it that way.
44. Would you rather your spanking be gentle and gradual or painful and abrupt? Both serve a purpose and I enjoy both types fairly equally. The most important thing is to match the spanking to the mood. I would be disappointed by a gentle spanking if I was craving the physical and emotional release of a harder, rougher one and I'd probably be out of sorts if I was geared up for something light and gentle and was instead abruptly spanked much harder than I was prepared for.
45. Would you rather be defiant or fearful going into a spanking? Fearful. If I go into a spanking defiant, it never seems to end well (and it's only happened once or twice that I can recall). A little bit of fear adds a wonderful edge to a spanking that I always enjoy.
46. Would you rather be spanked exclusively in your own bedroom or anyplace else other than your own bedroom? If I had to choose one or the other I'd choose anyplace else. Limiting myself to only my bedroom would rule out so many other wonderful options!
47. Would you rather be spanked exclusively on your bottom or other places could be interesting too? My bottom would definitely be my favorite target, but other places are fair game. After all, sometimes my bottom needs a break :)
48. Would you rather a spanking be a surprise or be something you have to look forward to? Oh. Gosh. This one's tough. I really like knowing ahead of time so that I can squirm for a little while anticipating the upcoming spanking. But then again, I really love a surprise. There's just something about being dropped into that headspace suddenly and without warning.
49. Would you rather spanking be a part of role playing kinkiness or a response to events that have happened in reality? I don't mind a little bit of role play, but I much prefer to be myself in a spanking.
And there you have it!
41. Would you rather be humiliated or respected during your spanking? While I don't mind a little embarrassment, humiliation is a big no. There should always be mutual respect within consensual spanking.
42. Would you rather spanking become part of a bigger BDSM alternative lifestyle or spanking just be spanking for spanking sake? When I first discovered kink I had more interest in BDSM, but those interests now lean much more heavily to spanking. I do enjoy a little extra on the side from time to time, though.
43. Would you rather be filmed during a spanking to share your exhibitionist naughtiness or are you too modest to show your bum to the world? While my decision isn't necessarily predicated on modesty, I'd opt not to be photographed or filmed. I have no problem sharing my kink with like-minded people, or even open minded vanilla friends, but that doesn't mean I want videos of myself indulging in spanking out there where anyone could find it. There are certain people (my parents come to mind) who are better off in blissful ignorance and I intend to keep it that way.
44. Would you rather your spanking be gentle and gradual or painful and abrupt? Both serve a purpose and I enjoy both types fairly equally. The most important thing is to match the spanking to the mood. I would be disappointed by a gentle spanking if I was craving the physical and emotional release of a harder, rougher one and I'd probably be out of sorts if I was geared up for something light and gentle and was instead abruptly spanked much harder than I was prepared for.
45. Would you rather be defiant or fearful going into a spanking? Fearful. If I go into a spanking defiant, it never seems to end well (and it's only happened once or twice that I can recall). A little bit of fear adds a wonderful edge to a spanking that I always enjoy.
46. Would you rather be spanked exclusively in your own bedroom or anyplace else other than your own bedroom? If I had to choose one or the other I'd choose anyplace else. Limiting myself to only my bedroom would rule out so many other wonderful options!
47. Would you rather be spanked exclusively on your bottom or other places could be interesting too? My bottom would definitely be my favorite target, but other places are fair game. After all, sometimes my bottom needs a break :)
48. Would you rather a spanking be a surprise or be something you have to look forward to? Oh. Gosh. This one's tough. I really like knowing ahead of time so that I can squirm for a little while anticipating the upcoming spanking. But then again, I really love a surprise. There's just something about being dropped into that headspace suddenly and without warning.
49. Would you rather spanking be a part of role playing kinkiness or a response to events that have happened in reality? I don't mind a little bit of role play, but I much prefer to be myself in a spanking.
And there you have it!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Spanking and more spanking (meme) (part 4)
The fun continues!
31. Would you rather have a safe word or be pushed beyond your preconceived limits? Both. I think a safeword is an important tool when pushing "limits" because it frees the spanker to push and prod past those blurry lines without having to worry that they're going too far.
32. Would you rather your spanker know your spanking history or is ignorance bliss? I don't think every partner needs to know the blow-by-blow descriptions of every spanking I've ever had, but some knowledge of my experience and preferences is useful.
33. Would you rather be spanked by multiple people at one time or just by one person at one time? Multiple people could be fun, but for everyday spanking, I think one is more practical.
34. Would you rather be spanked once a day or once every few months? Multiple times a day isn't an option?
35. Would you rather your spanker be deeply in tune or be totally unaffected to your experience as a spankee? As spanking is an experience shared by the spanker and spankee, I'd want him to be in tune with me and my responses.
36. Would you rather a closer physical relationship or a closer emotional relationship with your spanker? Well, I wouldn't have a closer physical relationship without a close emotional one. But I have had very close platonic relationships with spankers, and enjoy those immensely.
37. Would you rather your spanker ice your bottom down after a spanking or send you to the corner to display his/her accomplishment? Neither? I'd just like a good cuddle, or well...
38. Would you rather your spanker be the person you wish to live the rest of your life with (i.e. marriage) or the person you can call on when your tushy tickles? I hope to marry someone who will enjoy spanking me as much as I enjoy being spanked, but I'm also hoping we'll both be able to share our love of spanking with others. Variety is the spice of life, after all!
39. Would you rather spanking be a part of love making or not a part of love making? Both.
40. Would you rather your spanker have total control over you when you are being spanked or do you still want to have some control while you are being spanked? A little of both. Although I find that if I know I have some control, I have a much harder time letting go of it, which tends to make the experience more difficult for me in the long run.
And next time... the much desired conclusion to the spanking meme, after which you will know everything there is to know about me and spanking that can be answered in 40 questions or less!
31. Would you rather have a safe word or be pushed beyond your preconceived limits? Both. I think a safeword is an important tool when pushing "limits" because it frees the spanker to push and prod past those blurry lines without having to worry that they're going too far.
32. Would you rather your spanker know your spanking history or is ignorance bliss? I don't think every partner needs to know the blow-by-blow descriptions of every spanking I've ever had, but some knowledge of my experience and preferences is useful.
33. Would you rather be spanked by multiple people at one time or just by one person at one time? Multiple people could be fun, but for everyday spanking, I think one is more practical.
34. Would you rather be spanked once a day or once every few months? Multiple times a day isn't an option?
35. Would you rather your spanker be deeply in tune or be totally unaffected to your experience as a spankee? As spanking is an experience shared by the spanker and spankee, I'd want him to be in tune with me and my responses.
36. Would you rather a closer physical relationship or a closer emotional relationship with your spanker? Well, I wouldn't have a closer physical relationship without a close emotional one. But I have had very close platonic relationships with spankers, and enjoy those immensely.
37. Would you rather your spanker ice your bottom down after a spanking or send you to the corner to display his/her accomplishment? Neither? I'd just like a good cuddle, or well...
38. Would you rather your spanker be the person you wish to live the rest of your life with (i.e. marriage) or the person you can call on when your tushy tickles? I hope to marry someone who will enjoy spanking me as much as I enjoy being spanked, but I'm also hoping we'll both be able to share our love of spanking with others. Variety is the spice of life, after all!
39. Would you rather spanking be a part of love making or not a part of love making? Both.
40. Would you rather your spanker have total control over you when you are being spanked or do you still want to have some control while you are being spanked? A little of both. Although I find that if I know I have some control, I have a much harder time letting go of it, which tends to make the experience more difficult for me in the long run.
And next time... the much desired conclusion to the spanking meme, after which you will know everything there is to know about me and spanking that can be answered in 40 questions or less!
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
LOL Monday
This week's LOL Monday is dedicated to those kinks that fall outside the realm of spanking - enjoy!
There have been a few news reports about cats who steal underpants from neighboring laundry lines. I guess that's one way to indulge in your panty fetish!
This photo was on failblog recently, but I'd say it's more of a WIN!
There have been a few news reports about cats who steal underpants from neighboring laundry lines. I guess that's one way to indulge in your panty fetish!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Still another spanking meme (part 3)
And on to the third installment of this glimpse into my mind when it comes to all things spanking...
21. Have you received a spanking in the past week? Sadly not. Clearly the world is out of balance ;)
22. Would you rather be spanked for the physical pleasure or the emotional release? I enjoy both, but find that often when I'm really craving a spanking, it's the emotional connection and release that I'm seeking.
23. Would you rather tell your best friends you enjoy be spanked or keep it secret? Many of my friends know. Some know more than others.
24. Would you rather spanking be a lifestyle choice or just something you dabble in? As one of my previous posts on this blog indicates, I don't believe it is a choice. It is a very real part of me, one I wouldn't part with if I could.
25. Would you rather your lover be a vanilla or a spankoholic too? A spanko, through and through.
26. Would you rather be spanked by a stranger or by someone who knew you well? Some of my strongest fantasies involve being spanked by a stranger, but when it comes to real life I prefer to play with someone I know and who knows me. There's so much that goes on during a spanking, both physical and emotional, that a real understanding of your partner makes a huge difference. That said, everyone starts out as a stranger, and I'm always happy to meet and play with someone new.
27. Would you rather be spanked by despotic, mean person or by a compassionate, benevolent person? The first would be pretty hard for me. I generally need for there to be some compassion or connection between me and the spanker.
28. Would you rather be talked to while you are spanked or no talking at all? You can feel free to talk, but I can't promise I'll understand anything you say. My attention will probably be focused elsewhere.
29. Would you rather get one swat at a time with pauses to let the sting set in or a continuous tanning to build up the fire? I guess that depends on if you want me to be able to stay still, or want a wriggling, writhing, girl on your hands.
30. Would you rather be forced into a spanking or willingly submit into a spanking? I'd rather willingly submit, while maintaining a bit of fantasy about being overpowered or controlled.
Until next time...
21. Have you received a spanking in the past week? Sadly not. Clearly the world is out of balance ;)
22. Would you rather be spanked for the physical pleasure or the emotional release? I enjoy both, but find that often when I'm really craving a spanking, it's the emotional connection and release that I'm seeking.
23. Would you rather tell your best friends you enjoy be spanked or keep it secret? Many of my friends know. Some know more than others.
24. Would you rather spanking be a lifestyle choice or just something you dabble in? As one of my previous posts on this blog indicates, I don't believe it is a choice. It is a very real part of me, one I wouldn't part with if I could.
25. Would you rather your lover be a vanilla or a spankoholic too? A spanko, through and through.
26. Would you rather be spanked by a stranger or by someone who knew you well? Some of my strongest fantasies involve being spanked by a stranger, but when it comes to real life I prefer to play with someone I know and who knows me. There's so much that goes on during a spanking, both physical and emotional, that a real understanding of your partner makes a huge difference. That said, everyone starts out as a stranger, and I'm always happy to meet and play with someone new.
27. Would you rather be spanked by despotic, mean person or by a compassionate, benevolent person? The first would be pretty hard for me. I generally need for there to be some compassion or connection between me and the spanker.
28. Would you rather be talked to while you are spanked or no talking at all? You can feel free to talk, but I can't promise I'll understand anything you say. My attention will probably be focused elsewhere.
29. Would you rather get one swat at a time with pauses to let the sting set in or a continuous tanning to build up the fire? I guess that depends on if you want me to be able to stay still, or want a wriggling, writhing, girl on your hands.
30. Would you rather be forced into a spanking or willingly submit into a spanking? I'd rather willingly submit, while maintaining a bit of fantasy about being overpowered or controlled.
Until next time...
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
A Secret Garden
I love my town's botanical garden and visit frequently. So I was quite surprised the other day to discover what kinky inspiration had been sitting right under my nose all this time!
______________
Once upon a time there was a spoiled princess who lived in a big castle by the sea. The princess wasn't a bad girl, but she could be very naughty when the mood struck, and she was known through the kingdom as the "royal pain*."
One day, while wandering the castle grounds, the princess comes across a handsome prince. The prince, a gallant sort, greets her and offeres to accompany her back to the castle as the forest can be a dangerous place. Now, the princess is an independent sort, but our prince will hear nothing of her complaints or denials and soon the two are walking together back through the woods toward the castle. It isn't long before the princess slips into her bratting ways, and despite many warnings from the prince she continues to pester and prod until he has had enough! He quickly flips the princess over his lap and applies his stinging palm to her wriggling bottom.
The princess is a very sorry girl when the spanking ends but the evil prince has other ways to ensure she behaves for the remainder of the trip... starting with ginger (poor girl!).
The young girl is now quite distraught, and both sets of cheeks are a bright blushing pink!
The two pass many miles in companionable silence. Of course, she just can't help herself from bratting, and gets herself in trouble again by calling the prince's favorite implement "dumb."
Unfortunately for her, there is a whole forest** of it growing outside the castle, and he canes her soundly until she recants!
And they lived happily ever after. The end :)
* Ok, I retouched this one photo, but that's what I thought it said when I first read it!
** Seriously - who knew there was so much bamboo to be had in my little town??? Though clearly it is going to waste. Perhaps I should liberate it?
______________
Once upon a time there was a spoiled princess who lived in a big castle by the sea. The princess wasn't a bad girl, but she could be very naughty when the mood struck, and she was known through the kingdom as the "royal pain*."
One day, while wandering the castle grounds, the princess comes across a handsome prince. The prince, a gallant sort, greets her and offeres to accompany her back to the castle as the forest can be a dangerous place. Now, the princess is an independent sort, but our prince will hear nothing of her complaints or denials and soon the two are walking together back through the woods toward the castle. It isn't long before the princess slips into her bratting ways, and despite many warnings from the prince she continues to pester and prod until he has had enough! He quickly flips the princess over his lap and applies his stinging palm to her wriggling bottom.
The princess is a very sorry girl when the spanking ends but the evil prince has other ways to ensure she behaves for the remainder of the trip... starting with ginger (poor girl!).
The young girl is now quite distraught, and both sets of cheeks are a bright blushing pink!
The two pass many miles in companionable silence. Of course, she just can't help herself from bratting, and gets herself in trouble again by calling the prince's favorite implement "dumb."
Unfortunately for her, there is a whole forest** of it growing outside the castle, and he canes her soundly until she recants!
And they lived happily ever after. The end :)
* Ok, I retouched this one photo, but that's what I thought it said when I first read it!
** Seriously - who knew there was so much bamboo to be had in my little town??? Though clearly it is going to waste. Perhaps I should liberate it?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Once more, with feeling
Authors note: I began writing this recap of a caning Jack gave me months ago. Before I had the chance to complete it, the bottom fell out of our relationship and I couldn't bring myself to revisit this happy scene. I've finally gotten around to finishing it off, and I do hope you enjoy it.
Curled up on the bed earlier this evening, Jack looked down at me. "What?" he asked, my face having given me away as it always does. I bit my lip and pondered, guessing it was still early enough in this conversation to reverse directions. I didn't feel particularly guilty over what I was about to confess but I was 99% sure it would result in a spanking. Which is what I wanted, of course. The question was what kind of spanking? I was aiming for something light, but I can never be sure what I'll end up with...
"Uhmm..." I bit the bullet and whispered the words that had stuck on my lips just a moment before. Watched somewhat nervously as his face darkened, eyes narrowed, and realized we had skipped way past any chance of a light, playful spanking. He slipped (maybe stalked would be more accurate) off the bed and out of the room without a word, reappearing a moment later with the cane. Big *gulp.* This couldn't be good.
The cane and I, we have what you might call a hate-hate relationship. There is no love between us, no tenderness hidden deeply under the nerves and fear it produces. I am not brave where canes are concerned, and whimpered as I was guided onto my stomach, stretched out across the bed and bared. My mind whirled, trying to get a handle on his mood, then eased as his hand stroked over my bottom, coming to rest lightly on the small of my back.
The crack of the cane was shocking in the quiet room. But instead of tensing against it I let go, let the sensation flow through me and then out, releasing with it a hundred little worries and stresses. It hurt, oh god it hurt, but his hand was on my back, resting so gently, grounding me, as my body turned to liquid and my mind floated on the pain. The cane fell again and again, and my world narrowed, focused until there was only me and Jack, the cane, soft murmurs, flashes of pain, softer caresses between the heat of the strokes.
I don't think I've ever just given in to the pain of a spanking like this before. I've surrendered to it, after struggling and fighting or just gritting my teeth and bearing it. But I'd never absorbed it like this, never felt this languid sensation that lulled me into peace; usually the peace comes after when the spanking is done and the cuddling has commenced.
My legs, usually busy kicking and squirming in a grand show of discomfort, literally could not move. Half way through I realized I had slid closer to the wall and managed to rouse my arm enough to press against it to keep my head from crashing into it. Jack gently turned me and resumed his work with the cane. Time moved on, stretched out, spun before us. And still there was only us, only tenderness and pain and all of the things that can only be said without words.
The rhythm slowed and changed. The cane fell less, replaced more often by his soothing hand and gentle voice. I could have gone on forever, happily. I think perhaps he could have too. After what seemed forever (and was in actuality about an hour) it was the cane that, having taken all it could, broke and ended our play.
No, I wasn't smirking. Honest. I would never gloat over a broken cane, of course not. Well, maybe I would have, but not any more. I sort of think I like them now...
Curled up on the bed earlier this evening, Jack looked down at me. "What?" he asked, my face having given me away as it always does. I bit my lip and pondered, guessing it was still early enough in this conversation to reverse directions. I didn't feel particularly guilty over what I was about to confess but I was 99% sure it would result in a spanking. Which is what I wanted, of course. The question was what kind of spanking? I was aiming for something light, but I can never be sure what I'll end up with...
"Uhmm..." I bit the bullet and whispered the words that had stuck on my lips just a moment before. Watched somewhat nervously as his face darkened, eyes narrowed, and realized we had skipped way past any chance of a light, playful spanking. He slipped (maybe stalked would be more accurate) off the bed and out of the room without a word, reappearing a moment later with the cane. Big *gulp.* This couldn't be good.
The cane and I, we have what you might call a hate-hate relationship. There is no love between us, no tenderness hidden deeply under the nerves and fear it produces. I am not brave where canes are concerned, and whimpered as I was guided onto my stomach, stretched out across the bed and bared. My mind whirled, trying to get a handle on his mood, then eased as his hand stroked over my bottom, coming to rest lightly on the small of my back.
The crack of the cane was shocking in the quiet room. But instead of tensing against it I let go, let the sensation flow through me and then out, releasing with it a hundred little worries and stresses. It hurt, oh god it hurt, but his hand was on my back, resting so gently, grounding me, as my body turned to liquid and my mind floated on the pain. The cane fell again and again, and my world narrowed, focused until there was only me and Jack, the cane, soft murmurs, flashes of pain, softer caresses between the heat of the strokes.
I don't think I've ever just given in to the pain of a spanking like this before. I've surrendered to it, after struggling and fighting or just gritting my teeth and bearing it. But I'd never absorbed it like this, never felt this languid sensation that lulled me into peace; usually the peace comes after when the spanking is done and the cuddling has commenced.
My legs, usually busy kicking and squirming in a grand show of discomfort, literally could not move. Half way through I realized I had slid closer to the wall and managed to rouse my arm enough to press against it to keep my head from crashing into it. Jack gently turned me and resumed his work with the cane. Time moved on, stretched out, spun before us. And still there was only us, only tenderness and pain and all of the things that can only be said without words.
The rhythm slowed and changed. The cane fell less, replaced more often by his soothing hand and gentle voice. I could have gone on forever, happily. I think perhaps he could have too. After what seemed forever (and was in actuality about an hour) it was the cane that, having taken all it could, broke and ended our play.
No, I wasn't smirking. Honest. I would never gloat over a broken cane, of course not. Well, maybe I would have, but not any more. I sort of think I like them now...
Monday, August 23, 2010
LOL Monday
Welcome back for another edition of LOL Monday! Today's theme takes us to back to school. Of course, as we all know, these schools are filled with naughty girls and boys who need to be taken in hand ;) Don't forget to share your own captioning ideas in the comments, or click on the images to see other people's captions!
I'm not surprised that this kitten needed to break loose at the end of the day. After all if you spend your school days in a boring uniform it's only natural that you'd want to experiment a little in your dorm after lights out.
Uh oh, it looks like someone's in trouble.... How was she to know that there would be a surprise bed check that evening?
What will happen next? How will Sister Mary Frances handle this recalcitrant student? I don't think we need a LOL to solve this mystery :)
I'm not surprised that this kitten needed to break loose at the end of the day. After all if you spend your school days in a boring uniform it's only natural that you'd want to experiment a little in your dorm after lights out.
Uh oh, it looks like someone's in trouble.... How was she to know that there would be a surprise bed check that evening?
What will happen next? How will Sister Mary Frances handle this recalcitrant student? I don't think we need a LOL to solve this mystery :)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Yes, another spanking meme (part 2)
Here is the highly anticipated sequel to the spanking meme I started a few weeks ago. Enjoy!
11. Would you rather be spanked for the naughty things you have done or just because you enjoy the experience? I enjoy the experience of being spanked for the naughty things I have done :)
12. Would you rather be spanked with pants up/skirt down or pants down/skirt up? I like to be eased into a bare bottom spanking, going through all of the stages can draw out the suspense and the embarrassment so nicely. Often when I'm playing with someone for the first time I like to keep at least my panties firmly in place until we've gotten to know each other better.
13. Would you rather be spanked somewhat clothed or entirely naked? Somewhat clothed. It focuses the attention on my bottom, where it belongs :)
14. Would you rather your spanking be strictly disciplinarian or sexually attractive in nature? A little of both. Even with my "just for fun" spankings, I enjoy the pretense of discipline. There's something incredibly arousing about being a naughty little girl who is being taken in hand by a firm but kind disciplinarian. Mmmm!
15. Would you rather be spanked by a male or by a female? I'm pretty straight (ok, totally, hopelessly straight) and I've only ever been spanked by men. However lately I've been entertaining delightful fantasies of being spanked by a strict Aunt. So, who knows?
16. Would you rather be cuddled or scolded after your spanking? Scolded before, cuddled after. I have a very very hard time dealing with being scolded after a spanking. When the spanking is over I want to know that the slate (real or imaginary) is wiped clean, that I took my spanking well (or at least tried very hard to), and I'm a good girl.
17. Would you rather be spanked OTK or bent over a table/chair? First one, then the other!
18. Would you rather your spanker have physical contact with you? Yes. Especially during hard spankings or ones that are emotionally difficult for me, having that contact makes a huge difference in how I process the spanking.
19. Would you prefer to be spanked in the woods with a tree branch, bent over the hood of a car, or in a school with a ruler bent over the desk of your teacher/principal? Well, I've already been spanked over
the hood of a car, and it was delightful. I'd be up for trying the woods, depending on the area and as long as I was assured there would be no bugs feasting on my exposed flesh. But the school desk is such a strong fantasy, I think I have to choose that one.
20. Would you rather be a brat to your spanker to deserve a spanking or simply ask your spanker for a spanking because you know you needed it? I would rather ask, but at the same time I have a hard time getting up the nerve to ask for one. My shyness is not caused by nerves over the actual spanking that will ensue, but rather a concern (no matter how unfounded) that I'll be rejected, or that someone will spank me because I asked, but not really want to. While I've been called bratty on more than one occasion, and probably will be again, I don't care to overtly brat anyone, and actually get quite upset when I do. So, while I don't mind being a bit of a smart-alec (and in fact can't really help it), I'm not about to break out in hi-jinks no matter how much I might desire a spanking.
11. Would you rather be spanked for the naughty things you have done or just because you enjoy the experience? I enjoy the experience of being spanked for the naughty things I have done :)
12. Would you rather be spanked with pants up/skirt down or pants down/skirt up? I like to be eased into a bare bottom spanking, going through all of the stages can draw out the suspense and the embarrassment so nicely. Often when I'm playing with someone for the first time I like to keep at least my panties firmly in place until we've gotten to know each other better.
13. Would you rather be spanked somewhat clothed or entirely naked? Somewhat clothed. It focuses the attention on my bottom, where it belongs :)
14. Would you rather your spanking be strictly disciplinarian or sexually attractive in nature? A little of both. Even with my "just for fun" spankings, I enjoy the pretense of discipline. There's something incredibly arousing about being a naughty little girl who is being taken in hand by a firm but kind disciplinarian. Mmmm!
15. Would you rather be spanked by a male or by a female? I'm pretty straight (ok, totally, hopelessly straight) and I've only ever been spanked by men. However lately I've been entertaining delightful fantasies of being spanked by a strict Aunt. So, who knows?
16. Would you rather be cuddled or scolded after your spanking? Scolded before, cuddled after. I have a very very hard time dealing with being scolded after a spanking. When the spanking is over I want to know that the slate (real or imaginary) is wiped clean, that I took my spanking well (or at least tried very hard to), and I'm a good girl.
17. Would you rather be spanked OTK or bent over a table/chair? First one, then the other!
18. Would you rather your spanker have physical contact with you? Yes. Especially during hard spankings or ones that are emotionally difficult for me, having that contact makes a huge difference in how I process the spanking.
19. Would you prefer to be spanked in the woods with a tree branch, bent over the hood of a car, or in a school with a ruler bent over the desk of your teacher/principal? Well, I've already been spanked over
the hood of a car, and it was delightful. I'd be up for trying the woods, depending on the area and as long as I was assured there would be no bugs feasting on my exposed flesh. But the school desk is such a strong fantasy, I think I have to choose that one.
20. Would you rather be a brat to your spanker to deserve a spanking or simply ask your spanker for a spanking because you know you needed it? I would rather ask, but at the same time I have a hard time getting up the nerve to ask for one. My shyness is not caused by nerves over the actual spanking that will ensue, but rather a concern (no matter how unfounded) that I'll be rejected, or that someone will spank me because I asked, but not really want to. While I've been called bratty on more than one occasion, and probably will be again, I don't care to overtly brat anyone, and actually get quite upset when I do. So, while I don't mind being a bit of a smart-alec (and in fact can't really help it), I'm not about to break out in hi-jinks no matter how much I might desire a spanking.
Monday, August 16, 2010
LOL Monday
Browsing through my daily dose of all things LOL, I found a few gems to share with you:
I wonder what happened to make the turtle so disappointed... perhaps he didn't like these kitties' attitudes?
Of course, there are many other possible captions for these photos - leave a comment with your best idea, then click the photos to see the other captions on ICanHasCheezburger.com!
Don't worry... stop back next Monday for more!
I wonder what happened to make the turtle so disappointed... perhaps he didn't like these kitties' attitudes?
Of course, there are many other possible captions for these photos - leave a comment with your best idea, then click the photos to see the other captions on ICanHasCheezburger.com!
Don't worry... stop back next Monday for more!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Ask Emma
Recently I received this message from a reader of my blog:
I've been with women who enjoy spanking before, but I've always wondered how hard is too hard. Speaking as a woman who enjoys spanking, is there a good way for a partner to judge when the action is getting a little too intense... before the safe word is voiced?
Thanks!
As I was writing my response it occurred to me that:
..........................................................................................................
Dear Reader:
What a great question! But I'm afraid you're asking the wrong woman. That is to say - the answer will probably be slightly different for each woman you spank, so I don't know that I can shed any light on what to expect with the variety of women you'll hopefully encounter. Here's what I can tell you:
In considering your question, I tried to think back to the spankings I can remember that brought me close enough to my limit that I would have safeworded (had Jack and I had a safeword, which we didn't and which is an entirely different topic altogether). There weren't many, maybe two or three over the seven years that we were together, and I guess I was a bit surprised to realize that in none of them was physical severity or pain what led me to that point, it was always the emotional intensity.
What hints or clues did I give? Again, I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer that, because I'd imagine that many of them were given unconsciously. I have found that, in general, when I'm really having a hard time processing a spanking emotionally I go quiet. If I can beg and whine and say owww a lot, it's a pretty good indication that I'm ok :) If I use the top's name, that's an indication that I'm getting awfully close to my limit.
When you get a bit of experience in playing with one person, you'll probably start to pick up on their individual clues if you pay attention. Before you reach that point, the best advice I can give is to discuss the parameters of the play with new partners before you get started. This can be tricky because, as Pixie pointed out in her recent post, different people may (and probably will) describe severity levels differently. One woman may tell you she likes "moderate" spankings, yet reach her limit quickly when you start to spank her because her idea of moderate and yours are not in line. Or you may find a woman whom you are not comfortable spanking as firmly as she would like because her idea of "moderate" is too severe for you.
You can get past this by discussing specifics - do they like to be spanked until the skin is just pinkening? Uniformly red? Starting to bruise? If playing with an implement, you may want to give the strokes in sets. This gives you the opportunity to check in with your partner between sets to see how she is doing. If you think she's nearing her limit, but want to prolong the play, try backing down a level (spank her with your hand, for instance) then ask her if she wants more.
If you aren't playing a scene where this type of dialogue works, you can always utilize the green/yellow/red method of safewords, where green is an indication that all is well, yellow allows her to tell you she's getting close to her limit, and red means stop. This can be a wonderful tool, allowing both parties to relax into the scene without having to worry. Lastly, if you hope to play with someone again, take some time to talk after the spanking as well. You can learn a lot this way and hopefully use that knowledge to make your next encounter with them even better.
Good luck and happy spanking!
-Em
..........................................................................................................
OK dear readers, now it's your turn! What advice would you add? Please share your $0.02 in the comments! And if you have a question you'd like answered, send me an email.
I've been with women who enjoy spanking before, but I've always wondered how hard is too hard. Speaking as a woman who enjoys spanking, is there a good way for a partner to judge when the action is getting a little too intense... before the safe word is voiced?
Thanks!
As I was writing my response it occurred to me that:
- It was getting pretty long and would maybe make a good blog post and...
- all of you lovely people out there could probably give better advice than I could!
..........................................................................................................
Dear Reader:
What a great question! But I'm afraid you're asking the wrong woman. That is to say - the answer will probably be slightly different for each woman you spank, so I don't know that I can shed any light on what to expect with the variety of women you'll hopefully encounter. Here's what I can tell you:
In considering your question, I tried to think back to the spankings I can remember that brought me close enough to my limit that I would have safeworded (had Jack and I had a safeword, which we didn't and which is an entirely different topic altogether). There weren't many, maybe two or three over the seven years that we were together, and I guess I was a bit surprised to realize that in none of them was physical severity or pain what led me to that point, it was always the emotional intensity.
What hints or clues did I give? Again, I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer that, because I'd imagine that many of them were given unconsciously. I have found that, in general, when I'm really having a hard time processing a spanking emotionally I go quiet. If I can beg and whine and say owww a lot, it's a pretty good indication that I'm ok :) If I use the top's name, that's an indication that I'm getting awfully close to my limit.
When you get a bit of experience in playing with one person, you'll probably start to pick up on their individual clues if you pay attention. Before you reach that point, the best advice I can give is to discuss the parameters of the play with new partners before you get started. This can be tricky because, as Pixie pointed out in her recent post, different people may (and probably will) describe severity levels differently. One woman may tell you she likes "moderate" spankings, yet reach her limit quickly when you start to spank her because her idea of moderate and yours are not in line. Or you may find a woman whom you are not comfortable spanking as firmly as she would like because her idea of "moderate" is too severe for you.
You can get past this by discussing specifics - do they like to be spanked until the skin is just pinkening? Uniformly red? Starting to bruise? If playing with an implement, you may want to give the strokes in sets. This gives you the opportunity to check in with your partner between sets to see how she is doing. If you think she's nearing her limit, but want to prolong the play, try backing down a level (spank her with your hand, for instance) then ask her if she wants more.
If you aren't playing a scene where this type of dialogue works, you can always utilize the green/yellow/red method of safewords, where green is an indication that all is well, yellow allows her to tell you she's getting close to her limit, and red means stop. This can be a wonderful tool, allowing both parties to relax into the scene without having to worry. Lastly, if you hope to play with someone again, take some time to talk after the spanking as well. You can learn a lot this way and hopefully use that knowledge to make your next encounter with them even better.
Good luck and happy spanking!
-Em
..........................................................................................................
OK dear readers, now it's your turn! What advice would you add? Please share your $0.02 in the comments! And if you have a question you'd like answered, send me an email.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Consensual Spanking Day
If you don't live under a rock, you've probably heard that today is Consensual Spanking Day. Even if you do live under a rock, it's OK, now you know :) I've seen a few posts on other blogs asking their readers to comment on what part of consensual spanking has had the most positive effect on their lives. So I thought about it... and thought some more... and came up, well, blank.
It's not that I don't love consensual spanking, or enjoy it in my life. I do! But here's the thing: I can't remember my life without at least the idea of spanking in it. My very first childhood memory revolves around spanking. My adolescent years were spent fantasizing about spanking in naughty delicious detail. I had my first real spanking experience in college. Practically all of my adult relationships have included spanking. So - does it make me a better person? How can I answer that when this is the only person I've ever been? It's great stress relief, sure, but so is a massage. It's fun too, but I also enjoy reading a good book or whipping someone in a game of cards. Could I reduce spanking to that level? No! But there it was, all of the describable reasons that I love spanking could just as easily apply to other less enriching aspects of my life.
And then I realized the problem. I was looking at this the wrong way. I can't describe how spanking has changed my life, because it hasn't changed my life, it is my life. So what am I really thankful for today, on Consensual Spanking Day? I'm thankful for all of the external forces in my life that make it possible for me to enjoy spanking.
I am thankful:
Because not everyone is as lucky as I am, I urge you to celebrate Consensual Spanking Day by giving back a little to those people still struggling to meet their basic needs. Here are a few organizations I like, if you need some suggestions:
Thirst Relief International - More than 1.1 billion people in our world lack access to safe drinking water. A donation of just $5 gives a person access to clean drinking water for life.
Hero Rat - Landmines injure and kill civilians every day, long after conflicts have ended and exist as a barrier to development. Almost 5,000 people die from tuberculosis daily, and many cases go undetected. HeroRat trains rats to detect land mines and TB.
Kiva - Kiva connects you to entrepreneurs in under-developed areas across the globe to power microfinance loans.
Heifer International - Ending world hunger and poverty globally is a large feat but it's not unrealistic. It takes each and every single one of us to do our part to be able to attain a world without poverty and hunger. Heifer's simple yet powerful approach to lifting families out of hunger and poverty has been recognized worldwide.
And once you've done your good deed for the day, don't forget to celebrate Consensual Spanking Day with a well-deserved good girl (or boy) spanking!
It's not that I don't love consensual spanking, or enjoy it in my life. I do! But here's the thing: I can't remember my life without at least the idea of spanking in it. My very first childhood memory revolves around spanking. My adolescent years were spent fantasizing about spanking in naughty delicious detail. I had my first real spanking experience in college. Practically all of my adult relationships have included spanking. So - does it make me a better person? How can I answer that when this is the only person I've ever been? It's great stress relief, sure, but so is a massage. It's fun too, but I also enjoy reading a good book or whipping someone in a game of cards. Could I reduce spanking to that level? No! But there it was, all of the describable reasons that I love spanking could just as easily apply to other less enriching aspects of my life.
And then I realized the problem. I was looking at this the wrong way. I can't describe how spanking has changed my life, because it hasn't changed my life, it is my life. So what am I really thankful for today, on Consensual Spanking Day? I'm thankful for all of the external forces in my life that make it possible for me to enjoy spanking.
I am thankful:
- To live in a country where I am free (mostly) to express myself and my sexuality.
- To live in a time when I can walk into a bookstore and find a treasure trove of books to feed my spanking kink and imagination.
- To live somewhere where I can take the internet and its ability to connect me with like-minded people across the globe for granted.
- That I have a roof over my head, clean water to drink, food available on every corner.
- That I have access to state of the art health care (even though it may bankrupt me if I ever really need it).
- That I am free from the threat of real violence.
- To have friends who love me just the way I am, whether they know a little or a lot about my life behind the kinky curtain.
Because not everyone is as lucky as I am, I urge you to celebrate Consensual Spanking Day by giving back a little to those people still struggling to meet their basic needs. Here are a few organizations I like, if you need some suggestions:
Thirst Relief International - More than 1.1 billion people in our world lack access to safe drinking water. A donation of just $5 gives a person access to clean drinking water for life.
Hero Rat - Landmines injure and kill civilians every day, long after conflicts have ended and exist as a barrier to development. Almost 5,000 people die from tuberculosis daily, and many cases go undetected. HeroRat trains rats to detect land mines and TB.
Kiva - Kiva connects you to entrepreneurs in under-developed areas across the globe to power microfinance loans.
Heifer International - Ending world hunger and poverty globally is a large feat but it's not unrealistic. It takes each and every single one of us to do our part to be able to attain a world without poverty and hunger. Heifer's simple yet powerful approach to lifting families out of hunger and poverty has been recognized worldwide.
And once you've done your good deed for the day, don't forget to celebrate Consensual Spanking Day with a well-deserved good girl (or boy) spanking!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Post spanking dessert
Hermione, on her blog today, posted a delicious sounding recipe for Baked Zucchini Chips. She got the idea from Daisy over at Daisychain, who once a month shares a recipe with her readers. What a fabulous idea! This month Daisy shared three cookie recipes with her loyal readers and encouraged them to share their own tried and true recipes.
Each summer I join a farm share from which I get weekly deliveries of fresh seasonal produce from a local farm. This is one of my favorite parts of summer and each week I look forward to seeing what is in my box! I've discovered some great new veggies I'd never tried before, and many wonderful new recipes. Here's one I plan on making this week with my recent delivery of zucchini:
Double Chocolate Zucchini Bread
Ingredients:
3/4 c. oil
1 1/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 t. vanilla
2 c. grated zucchini
1/2 c. sour milk or buttermilk
3 T. cocoa
1/2 t. baking powder
1 t. baking soda
2 1/2 c. flour
small bag of chocolate chips
Directions:
1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees
2. Grease bread pan(s) (I make 2 small loaves out of this recipe)
3. Mix all ingredients and bake 30-35 minutes (or until a toothpick dipped into the center comes out clean)
I adapted this recipe from one of my favorite summer cook books: From Asparagus to Zucchini.The original recipe makes a cake in a 13x9 cake pan, but I prefer to cook it as two small bread loaves. Perfect for snacking on and oh so yummy!
And here's a good baking tip: for best results, allow your oven to pre-heat for 20 minutes after reaching the desired temperature. This gives the oven walls time to evenly absorb the heat and reduces the temperature fluctuations caused by opening the oven door. It's also handy to keep a pizza stone in your oven - it absorbs moisture and soaks up heat, again regulating the temperature of your oven!
If you try this recipe I'd love to hear from you, or share your own recipe, either here or on your own blog!
Each summer I join a farm share from which I get weekly deliveries of fresh seasonal produce from a local farm. This is one of my favorite parts of summer and each week I look forward to seeing what is in my box! I've discovered some great new veggies I'd never tried before, and many wonderful new recipes. Here's one I plan on making this week with my recent delivery of zucchini:
My zucchini does not look like an adorable duck :(
Double Chocolate Zucchini Bread
Ingredients:
3/4 c. oil
1 1/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 t. vanilla
2 c. grated zucchini
1/2 c. sour milk or buttermilk
3 T. cocoa
1/2 t. baking powder
1 t. baking soda
2 1/2 c. flour
small bag of chocolate chips
Directions:
1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees
2. Grease bread pan(s) (I make 2 small loaves out of this recipe)
3. Mix all ingredients and bake 30-35 minutes (or until a toothpick dipped into the center comes out clean)
I adapted this recipe from one of my favorite summer cook books: From Asparagus to Zucchini.The original recipe makes a cake in a 13x9 cake pan, but I prefer to cook it as two small bread loaves. Perfect for snacking on and oh so yummy!
And here's a good baking tip: for best results, allow your oven to pre-heat for 20 minutes after reaching the desired temperature. This gives the oven walls time to evenly absorb the heat and reduces the temperature fluctuations caused by opening the oven door. It's also handy to keep a pizza stone in your oven - it absorbs moisture and soaks up heat, again regulating the temperature of your oven!
If you try this recipe I'd love to hear from you, or share your own recipe, either here or on your own blog!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Yes, another spanking meme
This set of spanking related questions made the rounds a number of months back. I have split the meme into five parts so as not to overwhelm you (I'm thoughtful like that) and will be posting them between other posts on more cohesive topics. So without further ado... my declarations on the state and practice of consensual spanking (part one of five):
1. Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire?
Inside please! Force me out into a cold woodshed and you can bet that my mind will be focused on me freezing and not the lovely spanking to come. A crackling fire, however, sets the perfect stage for a sweet and loving spanking. Draped across my partner's lap, each sharp swat soothed with gentle caresses... mmm, yes please.
2. Would you rather be spanked in public or in private?
Many of my hottest fantasies involve being dominated and spanked in public (and by public I mean amongst vanilla people, not just a kinky party or setting). There's just something completely sexy about making yourself that vulnerable. Outside the realm of fantasy however, I'm much more of a private person. Spanking can be light and playful, but it is often intensely personal and I prefer to keep that between myself and my partner.
3. Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked?
Both of these options certainly have their merits, but I don't think I'd be writing a spanking blog if my answer wasn't to be spanked! That said, fantasies allow me to safely go places I don't think I'd ever journey in actual play and provide a safe way explore emotional needs and responses. To me, both the fantasy and the physical act are necessary for a healthy, well-rounded spanking life. After all, if I had no fantasies I probably wouldn't be in the position of wanting to be spanked anyway ;)
4. Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker's pleasure?
Humiliation is a majorly hard limit for me. I enjoy a little light embarrassment as much as the next girl - after all it sets the tone for a great spanking - but the moment it crosses over into humiliation all bets are off. It's also very important for me to know that my partner is enjoying himself during and after a spanking. You might think that's self-explanatory, but I often need to hear it anyway. You see, no matter how hard I try I just can't fathom what it is you spankers get out of the whole spanking thing. As such, I often feel greedy or selfish enjoying a spanking and need some assurance that the other person enjoyed it too!
5. Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Hand. Unless I'm feeling very small, then I like to be held down and thoroughly spanked with a brush. I should confess that I've never actually been spanked by a hairbrush (how have I managed that??), but I've made very good acquaintance with a number of bath brushes.
6. Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? I guess it depends on the situation. Canes are well suited to a more ritualized experience, which can certainly have its place. Belts I find to be more casual and intimate. Mostly I prefer the latter.
7. Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Riding crop please. They're just a bit more versatile - you can strike with the tip or the length of the crop, and employ more variation in the strength of the strokes.
8. Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? I love having my hands cuffed, and enjoy this in many spankings. I'm much less thrilled about having my legs tied - either down or apart - and this is enough to send me into a very different and often scary headspace. I often find it easier to take spankings when I am not tied down, as I need to maintain some focus on staying reasonably still. When I'm restrained and I don't have that to focus on, I experience the spanking more acutely, I think.
9. Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? Aroused. I don't have a problem with crying during a spanking, and I often do. But I don't like tears to be a focus of the spanking - i.e. "I'm going to spank you until you cry" because I focus so much on that that I find it difficult to actually let go and cry. Tears will come when and if they come, and often there's no rhyme or reason to why I sometimes cry and sometimes don't. Threatening to spank me until I'm aroused... well now there's a plan I can get behind ;)
10. Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? I personally love bruises and welts, the lasting physical reminders of an intimate experience. This seems to be a good thing, as I bruise very easily so they're difficult to avoid.
Stay tuned for the next installment...
1. Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire?
Inside please! Force me out into a cold woodshed and you can bet that my mind will be focused on me freezing and not the lovely spanking to come. A crackling fire, however, sets the perfect stage for a sweet and loving spanking. Draped across my partner's lap, each sharp swat soothed with gentle caresses... mmm, yes please.
2. Would you rather be spanked in public or in private?
Many of my hottest fantasies involve being dominated and spanked in public (and by public I mean amongst vanilla people, not just a kinky party or setting). There's just something completely sexy about making yourself that vulnerable. Outside the realm of fantasy however, I'm much more of a private person. Spanking can be light and playful, but it is often intensely personal and I prefer to keep that between myself and my partner.
3. Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked?
Both of these options certainly have their merits, but I don't think I'd be writing a spanking blog if my answer wasn't to be spanked! That said, fantasies allow me to safely go places I don't think I'd ever journey in actual play and provide a safe way explore emotional needs and responses. To me, both the fantasy and the physical act are necessary for a healthy, well-rounded spanking life. After all, if I had no fantasies I probably wouldn't be in the position of wanting to be spanked anyway ;)
4. Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker's pleasure?
Humiliation is a majorly hard limit for me. I enjoy a little light embarrassment as much as the next girl - after all it sets the tone for a great spanking - but the moment it crosses over into humiliation all bets are off. It's also very important for me to know that my partner is enjoying himself during and after a spanking. You might think that's self-explanatory, but I often need to hear it anyway. You see, no matter how hard I try I just can't fathom what it is you spankers get out of the whole spanking thing. As such, I often feel greedy or selfish enjoying a spanking and need some assurance that the other person enjoyed it too!
5. Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Hand. Unless I'm feeling very small, then I like to be held down and thoroughly spanked with a brush. I should confess that I've never actually been spanked by a hairbrush (how have I managed that??), but I've made very good acquaintance with a number of bath brushes.
6. Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? I guess it depends on the situation. Canes are well suited to a more ritualized experience, which can certainly have its place. Belts I find to be more casual and intimate. Mostly I prefer the latter.
7. Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Riding crop please. They're just a bit more versatile - you can strike with the tip or the length of the crop, and employ more variation in the strength of the strokes.
8. Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? I love having my hands cuffed, and enjoy this in many spankings. I'm much less thrilled about having my legs tied - either down or apart - and this is enough to send me into a very different and often scary headspace. I often find it easier to take spankings when I am not tied down, as I need to maintain some focus on staying reasonably still. When I'm restrained and I don't have that to focus on, I experience the spanking more acutely, I think.
9. Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? Aroused. I don't have a problem with crying during a spanking, and I often do. But I don't like tears to be a focus of the spanking - i.e. "I'm going to spank you until you cry" because I focus so much on that that I find it difficult to actually let go and cry. Tears will come when and if they come, and often there's no rhyme or reason to why I sometimes cry and sometimes don't. Threatening to spank me until I'm aroused... well now there's a plan I can get behind ;)
10. Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? I personally love bruises and welts, the lasting physical reminders of an intimate experience. This seems to be a good thing, as I bruise very easily so they're difficult to avoid.
Stay tuned for the next installment...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Game night
I've got games on the mind, kinky games, that is. It all started when Chris, on his twitter account, mentioned the idea of a spanko version of Apples to Apples. I admit I love this game, and even when I play with vanilla friends they seem to save every mildly kinky card in the deck for me. So I got to thinking... how could it become more spanking friendly? I eventually devised a set of rules for Spanko Apples to Apples (which I'll share with you below), but this set my mind onto some lovely tangents.
Suzy & Todd of American Spanking Society have developed their very own Spankopoly board game, so clearly there is a market for more spanking friendly games. In fact, many of us play "spanking games" in our daily life, we probably just don't call them that. There are many aspects of gameplay in kink, whether it's incorporating role play into your spanking sessions, or simply integrating a little competition into a spanking scene (don't move or I'll start over, guess the implement, even counting strokes). I imagine this is part of the fun for a lot of us.
Vanilla games that have point systems lend themselves especially well to a little bit of spanking fun. I've played too many card games to count where the loser takes the difference in points (or the number of points the winner had, or the number of points the loser had, or really any formula derived from any of those point tallies) as strokes in a spanking. While fun, they have always left me in a bit of a quandary - I am highly competitive and play to win, but I have no desire to top and consider the best prize to be getting a spanking for myself :)
So - do you play spanking games? Which are your favorites? Do you save them for special occasions, or use them anytime? What are the stakes and do you secretly hope to win or lose? I can't wait to hear!
.....................................................................................
Spanko Apples to Apples:
If you've ever played the game before, you know that each round one player takes the role of judge. He or she selects a theme card and all of the other players pass over a card from their hand that the judge will agree best suits the theme.
Once all the cards are in (and shuffled to maintain anonymity), the judge picks through and chooses the card which best encapsulates their idea of the theme. The person who put that card in gets a point, and eventually a winner is declared by the person who has the most points.
When my friends and I play, we often comment on the other cards, occasionally laying them out in order of least likely to the best - this was my inspiration. In the spanko version, in addition to selecting the round's winner, the judge will also select a loser! Losers collect strokes the same way winners collect points. You can choose how to award the strokes - a set number (1, 2, 3?) for each round you lose, or perhaps a progressive penalty: one stroke for the first loss, two for the second, four for the third?
Once a winner is declared and the game is over, the players are given their strokes. The winner is exempt from any of the strokes he or she earned during the game and has the added pleasure of selecting the implement to be used on the other players.
Depending on the number of players and implements you have on hand, it may be fun to begin the game by designating a number of implements that is one less than the number of player . For example, if 5 people are playing, you may set aside: a hand spanking, a paddle, a cane, and a belt. At the end of the game the winner decides who gets spanked with what, with each implement getting used. If there are too many players or not enough implements, you can vary the rules accordingly :) Of course, spankers playing the game may wish to designate a spankee to take their strokes.
Suzy & Todd of American Spanking Society have developed their very own Spankopoly board game, so clearly there is a market for more spanking friendly games. In fact, many of us play "spanking games" in our daily life, we probably just don't call them that. There are many aspects of gameplay in kink, whether it's incorporating role play into your spanking sessions, or simply integrating a little competition into a spanking scene (don't move or I'll start over, guess the implement, even counting strokes). I imagine this is part of the fun for a lot of us.
Vanilla games that have point systems lend themselves especially well to a little bit of spanking fun. I've played too many card games to count where the loser takes the difference in points (or the number of points the winner had, or the number of points the loser had, or really any formula derived from any of those point tallies) as strokes in a spanking. While fun, they have always left me in a bit of a quandary - I am highly competitive and play to win, but I have no desire to top and consider the best prize to be getting a spanking for myself :)
So - do you play spanking games? Which are your favorites? Do you save them for special occasions, or use them anytime? What are the stakes and do you secretly hope to win or lose? I can't wait to hear!
.....................................................................................
Spanko Apples to Apples:
If you've ever played the game before, you know that each round one player takes the role of judge. He or she selects a theme card and all of the other players pass over a card from their hand that the judge will agree best suits the theme.
Once all the cards are in (and shuffled to maintain anonymity), the judge picks through and chooses the card which best encapsulates their idea of the theme. The person who put that card in gets a point, and eventually a winner is declared by the person who has the most points.
When my friends and I play, we often comment on the other cards, occasionally laying them out in order of least likely to the best - this was my inspiration. In the spanko version, in addition to selecting the round's winner, the judge will also select a loser! Losers collect strokes the same way winners collect points. You can choose how to award the strokes - a set number (1, 2, 3?) for each round you lose, or perhaps a progressive penalty: one stroke for the first loss, two for the second, four for the third?
Once a winner is declared and the game is over, the players are given their strokes. The winner is exempt from any of the strokes he or she earned during the game and has the added pleasure of selecting the implement to be used on the other players.
Depending on the number of players and implements you have on hand, it may be fun to begin the game by designating a number of implements that is one less than the number of player . For example, if 5 people are playing, you may set aside: a hand spanking, a paddle, a cane, and a belt. At the end of the game the winner decides who gets spanked with what, with each implement getting used. If there are too many players or not enough implements, you can vary the rules accordingly :) Of course, spankers playing the game may wish to designate a spankee to take their strokes.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Broken rules, broken promises
I broke a rule today.
Not on purpose, I didn't even realize it at first. It was one of those little rules that almost exists only to be broken - that line you cross when you want to be in trouble, but not too much trouble.
I broke a rule today.
Of course it isn't a rule anymore. There haven't been rules for too long. There haven't been rules since I walked out his door, shattered. Since the night, not too long after, that he walked out my door with both of us pretending it wasn't goodbye.
For so long after there was just the hurt that's left behind when love moves on. No room in my heart or mind to dwell on the physical loss. No time to remember how his hand felt tangled in my hair; what his belt sounded like, exploding across my skin; how tightly his arms always wrapped around me after. Only later, once the emotional hurts had begun to heal could I remember, and remembering, begin to yearn.
Even this is new. Not the yearning of a young girl, wishing and waiting for a taste of the forbidden world she has craved as far back as she can remember; full of hope and fantasy, edged with a fluttering nervousness born of stepping off the safe path into the unknown. Nor is it the yearning of a woman who knows her lover's hand as well as her own and fears as well as worships it. Whose nerves tingle not from awaiting the unknown, but from surrendering once again to the brilliant pleasure and pain that can only be had together.
No, this is a bright glimmer of hope and desire, flashing hotly then quickly dimmed by the memories of how sharp and deep that pain can be when the pleasure is snuffed out, when trust is met with broken promises and disregard. This is the yearning of a woman - older and perhaps wiser. Gentle, tentative, the soft glow of her desire fading into the darker shadows of her doubt.
Time does heal. Light and dark war and shift, settling into a new equilibrium, perhaps more cautious and less carefree, but comfortable. Right.
I broke a rule today.
I smiled as I realized that, knowing that next time it will be not a slip of the mind, but because I meant to. Because girls who break rules must pay the price. And despite everything, I still love that price.
Not on purpose, I didn't even realize it at first. It was one of those little rules that almost exists only to be broken - that line you cross when you want to be in trouble, but not too much trouble.
I broke a rule today.
Of course it isn't a rule anymore. There haven't been rules for too long. There haven't been rules since I walked out his door, shattered. Since the night, not too long after, that he walked out my door with both of us pretending it wasn't goodbye.
For so long after there was just the hurt that's left behind when love moves on. No room in my heart or mind to dwell on the physical loss. No time to remember how his hand felt tangled in my hair; what his belt sounded like, exploding across my skin; how tightly his arms always wrapped around me after. Only later, once the emotional hurts had begun to heal could I remember, and remembering, begin to yearn.
Even this is new. Not the yearning of a young girl, wishing and waiting for a taste of the forbidden world she has craved as far back as she can remember; full of hope and fantasy, edged with a fluttering nervousness born of stepping off the safe path into the unknown. Nor is it the yearning of a woman who knows her lover's hand as well as her own and fears as well as worships it. Whose nerves tingle not from awaiting the unknown, but from surrendering once again to the brilliant pleasure and pain that can only be had together.
No, this is a bright glimmer of hope and desire, flashing hotly then quickly dimmed by the memories of how sharp and deep that pain can be when the pleasure is snuffed out, when trust is met with broken promises and disregard. This is the yearning of a woman - older and perhaps wiser. Gentle, tentative, the soft glow of her desire fading into the darker shadows of her doubt.
Time does heal. Light and dark war and shift, settling into a new equilibrium, perhaps more cautious and less carefree, but comfortable. Right.
I broke a rule today.
I smiled as I realized that, knowing that next time it will be not a slip of the mind, but because I meant to. Because girls who break rules must pay the price. And despite everything, I still love that price.
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