Consensual Spanking Day

If you don't live under a rock, you've probably heard that today is Consensual Spanking Day.  Even if you do live under a rock, it's OK, now you know :)  I've seen a few posts on other blogs asking their readers to comment on what part of consensual spanking has had the most positive effect on their lives.  So I thought about it... and thought some more... and came up, well, blank.

It's not that I don't love consensual spanking, or enjoy it in my life.  I do!  But here's the thing: I can't remember my life without at least the idea of spanking in it.  My very first childhood memory revolves around spanking.  My adolescent years were spent fantasizing about spanking in naughty delicious detail.  I had my first real spanking experience in college.  Practically all of my adult relationships have included spanking.  So - does it make me a better person?  How can I answer that when this is the only person I've ever been?  It's great stress relief, sure, but so is a massage.  It's fun too, but I also enjoy reading a good book or whipping someone in a game of cards.  Could I reduce spanking to that level?  No!  But there it was, all of the describable reasons that I love spanking could just as easily apply to other less enriching aspects of my life.

And then I realized the problem.  I was looking at this the wrong way.  I can't describe how spanking has changed my life, because it hasn't changed my life, it is my life.  So what am I really thankful for today, on Consensual Spanking Day?  I'm thankful for all of the external forces in my life that make it possible for me to enjoy spanking.

I am thankful:

• To live in a country where I am free (mostly) to express myself and my sexuality.
• To live in a time when I can walk into a bookstore and find a treasure trove of books to feed my spanking kink and imagination.
• To live somewhere where I can take the internet and its ability to connect me with like-minded people across the globe for granted.
• That I have a roof over my head, clean water to drink, food available on every corner. 
• That I have access to state of the art health care (even though it may bankrupt me if I ever really need it).
• That I am free from the threat of real violence.
• To have friends who love me just the way I am, whether they know a little or a lot about my life behind the kinky curtain.

Because all of these basic needs are taken care of, I can indulge in the "frivolous" act of exploring/enjoying spanking in all of its wonderful, playful, intense, emotional, physical, amazing ways!  For that, I am truly thankful.

Because not everyone is as lucky as I am, I urge you to celebrate Consensual Spanking Day by giving back a little to those people still struggling to meet their basic needs.  Here are a few organizations I like, if you need some suggestions:

Thirst Relief International - More than 1.1 billion people in our world lack access to safe drinking water. A donation of just $5 gives a person access to clean drinking water for life.

Hero Rat - Landmines injure and kill civilians every day, long after conflicts have ended and exist as a barrier to development.  Almost 5,000 people die from tuberculosis daily, and many cases go undetected.  HeroRat trains rats to detect land mines and TB.

Kiva - Kiva connects you to entrepreneurs in under-developed areas across the globe to power microfinance loans.

Heifer International - Ending world hunger and poverty globally is a large feat but it's not unrealistic. It takes each and every single one of us to do our part to be able to attain a world without poverty and hunger. Heifer's simple yet powerful approach to lifting families out of hunger and poverty has been recognized worldwide.


And once you've done your good deed for the day, don't forget to celebrate Consensual Spanking Day with a well-deserved good girl (or boy) spanking!

Yes, another spanking meme

This set of spanking related questions made the rounds a number of months back. I have split the meme into five parts so as not to overwhelm you (I'm thoughtful like that) and will be posting them between other posts on more cohesive topics. So without further ado... my declarations on the state and practice of consensual spanking (part one of five):


1. Would you rather be spanked outside in a cold woodshed or inside by a cozy fire?
Inside please! Force me out into a cold woodshed and you can bet that my mind will be focused on me freezing and not the lovely spanking to come. A crackling fire, however, sets the perfect stage for a sweet and loving spanking. Draped across my partner's lap, each sharp swat soothed with gentle caresses... mmm, yes please.


2. Would you rather be spanked in public or in private?
Many of my hottest fantasies involve being dominated and spanked in public (and by public I mean amongst vanilla people, not just a kinky party or setting). There's just something completely sexy about making yourself that vulnerable. Outside the realm of fantasy however, I'm much more of a private person. Spanking can be light and playful, but it is often intensely personal and I prefer to keep that between myself and my partner.

3. Would you rather fantasize about spanking or actually be spanked?
Both of these options certainly have their merits, but I don't think I'd be writing a spanking blog if my answer wasn't to be spanked! That said, fantasies allow me to safely go places I don't think I'd ever journey in actual play and provide a safe way explore emotional needs and responses. To me, both the fantasy and the physical act are necessary for a healthy, well-rounded spanking life. After all, if I had no fantasies I probably wouldn't be in the position of wanting to be spanked anyway ;)

4. Would you rather be spanked for your humiliation or for your spanker's pleasure?
Humiliation is a majorly hard limit for me. I enjoy a little light embarrassment as much as the next girl - after all it sets the tone for a great spanking - but the moment it crosses over into humiliation all bets are off. It's also very important for me to know that my partner is enjoying himself during and after a spanking. You might think that's self-explanatory, but I often need to hear it anyway. You see, no matter how hard I try I just can't fathom what it is you spankers get out of the whole spanking thing. As such, I often feel greedy or selfish enjoying a spanking and need some assurance that the other person enjoyed it too!


5. Would you rather be spanked by hand or by hairbrush? Hand. Unless I'm feeling very small, then I like to be held down and thoroughly spanked with a brush. I should confess that I've never actually been spanked by a hairbrush (how have I managed that??), but I've made very good acquaintance with a number of bath brushes.

6. Would you rather be spanked by belt or by cane? I guess it depends on the situation. Canes are well suited to a more ritualized experience, which can certainly have its place. Belts I find to be more casual and intimate. Mostly I prefer the latter.

7. Would you rather be spanked by paddle or riding crop? Riding crop please. They're just a bit more versatile - you can strike with the tip or the length of the crop, and employ more variation in the strength of the strokes.

8. Would you rather be restrained or unrestrained during your spanking? I love having my hands cuffed, and enjoy this in many spankings. I'm much less thrilled about having my legs tied - either down or apart - and this is enough to send me into a very different and often scary headspace. I often find it easier to take spankings when I am not tied down, as I need to maintain some focus on staying reasonably still. When I'm restrained and I don't have that to focus on, I experience the spanking more acutely, I think.

9. Would you rather be spanked until you cried or until you are aroused? Aroused. I don't have a problem with crying during a spanking, and I often do. But I don't like tears to be a focus of the spanking - i.e. "I'm going to spank you until you cry" because I focus so much on that that I find it difficult to actually let go and cry. Tears will come when and if they come, and often there's no rhyme or reason to why I sometimes cry and sometimes don't. Threatening to spank me until I'm aroused... well now there's a plan I can get behind ;)

10. Would you rather have just a red bottom or welts/bruises? I personally love bruises and welts, the lasting physical reminders of an intimate experience. This seems to be a good thing, as I bruise very easily so they're difficult to avoid.

Stay tuned for the next installment...

who am i?

I hope you don't think this post will be an answer to the question in the subject. No, I'm afraid that's a question I can't entirely answer just yet. To be sure, I'd love to have it all figured out... wait, no, that sounds boring.

What I do have figured out is this: I'm a thirty-something submissive with a disciplinarian who lives too far away for my own good. I have a job I love. I travel. I volunteer. I try very hard to be good and sometimes fail miserably, sometimes I succeed spectacularly.

The me this blog is about isn't the working, traveling, volunteering me. That me lives somewhere else. This blog is about the kinky, bratty, submissive me. Sometimes the two overlap, sometimes they live in different universes.

Everything I write here is for me, if you happen to wander by please feel free to join in and enjoy it. Respectful comments and discussion are especially welcome. If you don't like what you see... well, it's a big internet out there - go find something you do like.