Tuesday, September 2, 2008

our little secret

Between the two of us, Jack & I have quite a collection of implements, all of which are designed to inflict maximum pain. Since all of our spankings are disciplinary in nature, it can pretty much be assumed that whatever implement of torture I happen to be facing at any particular moment is sure to be something I both hate and dread.

That said, there are some things I hate more than others; some items which put me on the verge of panic before they ever touch me. They, of course, quickly become Jack's favorites.

This weekend, after finding myself in a bit of trouble (shocking, I know!), I faced off with the mother-of-all-paddles. If I had to guess (and I do, as I never find myself in possession of a tape measure when this paddle comes out) I'd place it at about 3/4" thick, 3 1/2" wide, and about 18" long. Ouch. Usually sessions with this paddle are bad enough that they're broken into small segments with time to recuperate in between. Usually just the sight of this paddle produces a very repentant, teary eyed girl. Usually Jack doesn't swing it quite as hard as he did this weekend. Did I mention ouch?

I have a bad habit (in Jack's eyes, to my way of thinking it's just dandy) of bouncing back quickly after even what seem like very hard spankings. Although in the moment I may feel like I'll simply die from the pain and voice that feeling with desperate cries and even sometimes (to my immense chagrin) beg for mercy, about two seconds after the last stroke has fallen the pain fades and is quickly forgotten. I've gotten used to this, I like this, which is why I was so shocked when the ache from the evil paddle did not gently dissipate as it was put down and the next paddle picked up. It did not dissipate as that paddle fell ten hard times across my already sore backside. Nor did it dissipate as that paddle was put carefully away and I was released from my position.

While the ache did finally ease about ten minutes later, I've decided that this information is definitely not something it would be safe for Jack to have. So uhm... let's just leave this as our lil secret... k?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I quite agree that it should be our little secret Emma, I won't say a word... might mention to a few folk that I've found your lovely new blog though, if that's ok? :)

Em said...

sarah, thanks for saying hi. Please do feel free to invite anyone you'd like over to visit me here, I'd love the company!

As for that paddle, well it's been three days and I'm still a tiny bit sore, which is virtually unheard of with me. On the one hand I do love the reminder the gentle ache and marks provide. On the other, I'm not sure it's a good precedent to set :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Em,
I hate paddles, so the entire affair sounds like my nemesis situation. Then again, a bit like you, I hate most whichever implement is currently aimed in my direction.
Eliane

Em said...

Hi eliane!

I'm definitely with you on the hating paddles bandwagon. Sometimes I have to laugh at the naive girl I was when I first started learning about spanking/kink. Back then I had it stuck in my head that I would love paddles because they were more thud than sting and I have a distinct aversion to implements that sting.

Now that I've had the opportunity to feel a great many implements, I think I'd choose just about anything over a paddle!

Anonymous said...

Secret's safe with me, Emma. Welcome to the neighborhood; hope you'll be around for awhile. I like the way you write, BTW. You're articulate, clear, and have a nice style. Perhaps I'll see your link on other sites soon, like Pixie's, though I don't get around all that much myself, as yet.

I recall Niki Flynn said something to the effect that she didn't actually like being spanked, so much as she loved having *been* spanked. From your post, it would appear that you are somewhat the opposite: Released from your ordeal (lesson presumably taken to heart ;) ), you're ready to get on with other things and not be bothered nursing a sore bottom. Jack, of course, wants you to remember it every time you sit down for some time afterward.

Have you ever achieved a "happy medium" wherein you've gotten a scorching spanking (meeting your needs), but also been left with an 'afterburn' which won't cool for quite awhile (satisfying him)? [for some reason, I've always associated aching with bruising, but heat eventually just dissipates, leaving a ‘clean slate’] Or am I missing the point?

Em said...

Hi Mike, thanks for your comments.

I love that line you quoted from Niki Flynn. I don't mean to imply that I don't love the after spanking reminders, I do! I'm actually quite disappointed if there aren't bruises after a serious spanking.

My hesitancy to be spanked to the point I can feel it days later is mostly nervousness about how much the spanking would have to hurt during the act to reach that point.

My other concern is this: Jack lives far enough away that we only see each other for brief periods of time. So after a spanking I go home alone. Bouncing back quickly isn't just a physical thing for me, it's emotional too and is how I handle pulling back up all the walls I drop to be appropriately vulnerable during a scene. It's harder for me to pull those walls back up when I'm still physically vulnerable and hard for me to handle being alone when they're down.

Oh and yes, I think Jack has gotten his desires satisfied on occasion, at least I hope so. A slathering of capsaicin over my very freshly spanked bottom certainly makes a lasting impression. Ouch!